3:45 am Can't get up this early, that is ridiculous. Close my eyes and promise myself to awaken again in 15 minutes.

4:00am Still sleeping, in my confused and half unconcious state I forgot yet again that it never works to go back to sleep once you have awoken.

4:30am The alarm goes off. I have taken great pains to make sure every available noise that this clock radio makes is now sounding as loudly as the volume settings can permit. I jump, still asleep, into action, flailing arms and hands at the clock trying to discover what button makes it all stop before the neighbors call the police. I start to close my eyes again but some sense has started to creep into my half consciousness now and I force myself off the bed and go to start a pot of coffee. Of course, I hit the button on the computer tower first, so that I don't waste precious time waiting for it once my coffee is done.

4:45am I sit with coffee cup in hand in front of a flickering blue light. By now I have nearly worked out what day of the week it is and if I should even be up this early. I have ruled out the possibility that it is a weekend and must now prepare my body and mind for a workday. But first the coffee. The best thing about this first morning coffee is that it doesn't even have to be good coffee. It has to be strong and hot and plenteous, but it doesn't have to be good. This morning I had the pleasure of some Dunkin Donuts coffee a friend gave me and it is excellent. If they don't have Dunkin Donuts where you live, you should move.

4:50am I open Yahoo! Messenger. I sign on as invisible initially, I am not ready to type yet, it took three tries to get my password right. But as I open it there is the excitement of perhaps finding an offline from a friend and I eagerly wait for one to pop up. Alas, there are none. I do have a zingy new email notice but I don't follow the little envelope as I know it is only about buying DVDs and I will get around to deleting it later. Is it any wonder I have 34 new emails per Yahoo!? I simply don't have time to delete them all and it makes me feel special to have an abundance.

5:00am I open Outlook with expectancy and see nothing there either. No new email. I click the Send/Receive button several times, in case Outlook has forgotten something. Still nothing and the day has not been going well so far. I sign into chat and proceed to the room.
I clumsily type hellos to all there and go for my second cup of coffee. I return to the screen to stare at the scrolling conversations and although occasionally thinking of something to add, I find the task of actually typing is still beyond me and I decide to take my shower. By this time, no one really expects me to be typing and so I am not missed.

5:10 am (I take really quick showers) The chat room looks much the same as it did before I left and I still have nothing to say. I still have no email or IMs and I begin to feel abandoned. Suddenly a stupid idea about blogging my morning comes to me and I open Wordpad, thinking once again how much easier life would be if I could only remember to install MS Office one of these days. I begin a chronicle for my blog, trying to keep my feelings of isolation and abandonment out of it.

5:47am I assume I have been typing all this time. Must be this I am typing. I wonder if I should go get dressed for work now and resume typing later or finish this and then start getting ready. I ponder the time schedule and think of how annoying it would be to have to finish this after work. I think that I would only bother blogging this if I were still half asleep, later I will be much too rational. I think I will get more coffee.

5:54am I am pouring coffee and for some reason starting to pack the boy's lunch as it is all I have the alertness to do at this point. I hear a chime and rush back to the screen only to find, as I suspected, it is a drive-by IM from someone I don't know. It says Hi, r u there? I fight the urge to say "No, I am not here" and click the little x in the corner. I move the Wordpad window to the right, so that I can see the chat screen. I am hopelessly lost as to the conversation and make no attempt to catch up.
I do take a moment to iggy fartflyer who is posting something in a huge and fat red font although why I care I don't know.

6:03am I should stop sitting at the keyboard and get dressed but I decide to read blogs instead. Luckily no one added anything in the middle of the night so I skim comments only and return to check that Outlook thing again which is obviously broken. However I have packed the boy's lunch and that is such an accomplishment I award myself five more minutes of sitting here, doing nothing, waiting for something interesting to happen. After all this time on the net, I still expect interesting things to happen. Must be that I am not awake yet.

6:13am Hark! I hear a knock. Finally someone is online, someone who can actually stand me. Well, at least I think she can stand me. She is not invisible so at least she isn't hiding, that is as good an admission that you like me as any.

6:17am I realize how stupid this blog is and scan all other blogs for entries that equal its stupidity. I actually find more than I expected (I had to go blog hunting for stupid blogs, but luckily they abound). I quickly drop this into the blogspot before I am too rational to avoid doing so and then push myself away from the computer. I have decided finally, it is Tuesday and I have to work today.