There is a trend I have noticed in society, an increasing level of
rudeness. Not your average rudeness, such as not holding a door
for the next person, or forgetting to say "please" and "thank you" but
a meaner and more personal rudeness. A lack of civility of
course, but something more.
This is illustrated for me every day in everyday interactions. It
is the co-worker, who having spotted you hurrying towards the office
building in order to not be late for work, still rushes to hit the
"close door" button on the elevator rather than wait themselves for a
few more seconds. It is the driver who is unable to see that
tailgaiting that elderly gentleman is not going to make him go faster,
he is simply going to get nervous and it will cause an accident. A
crowded store parking lot at Christmas shopping season will prove to
you the war-like nature of man as cars circle like vultures and drivers
breathe threats against other drivers who have not recognized the
territorial meaning of a blinking signal of the car hovering by a soon
to be open parking space. Are we never able to slow down enough in life
to enjoy a moment and to help another?
Yesterday a friend of mine, a disabled friend, was attempting to go
through a set of revolving doors as she is unable to pull open
the heavy doors that are provided as an alternative. She didn't
notice that there were two men hustling through from the other
side. Their powerful push on the door sent it going around
faster than she had expected and the suddenness of the door slipping
away from her hands that gripped the railing startled her, and
the next panel of the door struck her, propelling her backwards onto
the brick walkway.
The reaction of these two men? They walked on. They walked
on even though she lay there on the walkway, unable to rise. They
advised her that she should use the other doors, one was observant
enough to say "you were alright until you hit your head". Neither
inquired as to whether she was alright, was she able to get up, did she
need help or offer to assist in any way. They kept going because they
had somewhere to go and besides, one of them seemed to think it was
rather funny.
Maybe it's a lack of empathy, maybe that is what I notice. Maybe
this is just the selfish generation. Maybe people have lost the
ability to function as if they are part of a whole. It seems at
times I am surrounded by a sociopathic citizenry. The benefit or
gain to them is all, nothing else matters in anything they do.
Maybe I am just feeling cranky and a little helpless, because I wasn't
there and I couldn't lambaste them with my ire and I couldn't
help. Maybe someday I will get over my anger and if these guys
are lucky, it will be before someone spots them and points them
out to me.
Maybe if I could just take the world by the scruff of the neck and
shake them until they got some common sense and decency... well, it's
probably better that I can't. Not while I am in this mood
anyway.
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nedful thingsThere are things that we need and things that are Ned. Nedfulthings: a collection of labyrinthine conversations and a fistful of dreams...WidgetBucks - Trend Watch - WidgetBucks.com
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The occasional rant...
Comments
Re: The occasional rant...
by
glenni
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 08:13 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 06:31 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I can't even tell you how the Viking blood gets up in my veins and calls me to war... but the enemy is cowardly and cannot be found anywhere. Trust me, I know what to do if I find 'em.
Re: The occasional rant...
by
ME Strauss
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 08:18 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Ned,
Grrrr. If you find them, bring me with you. I learned that politeness is concern for others, but what you describe from the first detail goes beyond rude into selfishness, and I've noticed it too. Maybe it's too many years of self-esteem in school that makes people think the idea of *other-ness* need not apply to them. How far do you have to go to find someone who knows the teaching behind *The Good Samaritan*? Lee wrote a similar story on his blog not so long ago about his wife losing consciousness on the sidewalk and people just walking by. For all of my Pollyanna-ism, I never lose sight that we can be a despicable species. Please tell your friend I am angry that she should run into zombies who have no humanity. Liz Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 06:36 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
You know Liz, I totally agree with the despicable part. I am sure that the prevailing attitude of humans is that they are basically good with a few exceptions, but hey, even if I look into my own soul I have to admit that selfishness is built right in and it is only through teaching and cultivating the higher qualities of empathy and compassion that humans manage not to completely ruin the reputation of their Creator.
Re: The occasional rant...
by
Anonymous
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 01:37 PM EDT | Permanent Link
I think it comes from rude pundits making rude look cool to the feeble.
Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 06:47 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
The job of such pundits is to make an opinion, allow no leeway, allow no discourse and to characterize all opponents as stupid and feeble minded.
Talk radio is responsible for a lot of the intellectual constipation in this country, but that's another rant. Thanks for commenting, whoever you are. :) Re: The occasional rant...
by
SwampRat
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 03:28 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I agree and am appalled at that actions of a few and perhaps them as a growing number, but lets not forget the millions of dollars given to help those in need or those many thousands who sacrifice their time from work and family to help the needy.
Such event wrangle me also and I want the thump them both for every bruise she has and then until I feel better. But I am also quick to not forget the silent majority who do try to help and some at the risk of their own lives, but then you know this too. Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 06:40 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
You know what Ratty? I agree only to a point about the charity we see publicly. It is usually for public disasters, the popular ones we see on CNN and which are everywhere broadcast. There are those who sacrifice to help, yes. But the majority of it is whipped up by the media and it is "feel good" stuff. I do this, I feel good. That is self-serving too.
It has always been my contention that if you take any group of people who have gathered on the shore to try to save a beached whale that you would be hard-pressed to find one of them that would cross the street to keep you from getting hit by a bus. Re: The occasional rant...
by
Anonymous
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 05:10 PM EDT | Permanent Link
Swamp Rat's right, of course, but the point you're making, Ned, about the gradual, persistent coarsening of our public behaviour, the demise of courtesy, the sense that too many people have of the streets as their personal playpen, these are things I see everywhere I go.
Ken http://strangerken.blogspot.com Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Fri 07 Oct 2005 06:44 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
My grandmother would be appalled by the decline of civility and propriety of modern society Ken.
Thing is, I can't imagine anyone walking by and it is particularly heinous that two able bodied men would walk on leaving a woman lying on the ground and have no concern at all for her. Re: The occasional rant...
by
Blueskytavern
on Sat 08 Oct 2005 01:23 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I've encountered all that you wrote in your rant. The incidence with the elevator occurs quite often where I work. It's a shame that educated people can behave like that.
I have two theories. 1) for some of them it's their way of getting back at the world in general and just being mean. A sort of f-you attitude to go along with that chip on their shoulder. 2) some people are just plain numb. There was one time that I was letting someone passed me on the staircase and somehow I slipped and went tumbling. That donkeybrain didn't even stop to help me or ask me if I was ok. Makes one wonder if all people are really living people or are some merely fillers, walking zombies that don't notice those around them. That's why they shut the elevator doors, they don't see you at all. Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Sun 09 Oct 2005 12:33 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Liz,
my sister has a theory that there are some people born without souls. In a strictly evolutionary sense this would mean that humans who had not achieved what is our modern level of consciousness ended up inter-breeding with contemporaneous humans that had advanced to that consciousness. It's just another wild theory of the kind people in my family make up daily, but it might explain some things. Yep, yep. Might just explain some things. Re: The occasional rant...
by
Oleg
on Sun 09 Oct 2005 07:33 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I am wondering these days if we should think of this as a cultural solipsism (believing that the only world that exists is the one inside our own minds) - which would mean that all moral questions are outdated, as we are all isolated from each other in every way; as egotism (which would amount to something like only being able to relate to one's own world, but knowing that there is an outside to it) - this revives ethics, but makes it irrelevant all the same; as narcissism (seen before, I know, but interesting as it implies a constant need for justification and recognition while being unable to relate to it) - which would imply a lot of self-pity but no capacity to act outside of the need to be recognized and rewarded for every little pityful act that we might commit... as I say, I am not sure. Can solipsim and narcissism exist simultaneously in society? This is really deadly, as it means that everyone is hungering for recognition, but being unable to understand that it must be given as well as taken, and unable to feel empahty due to a lack of understanding of anything outside one's own mind, ignoring all signs that we are dying inside due to a lack of connection, or due to trying to stop the connections from running freely inside us and through us.
Funny, Blueskytavern's comment supports the solipsist theory - not noticing (but, I would say, still hungering, craving, for visibility, recognition, oh 10 seconds of fame.. so ironic.) On bad days I feel my viking blood running through me as well, not wanting to hurt people that act without noticing that other people feel and have a lot to give, but just wanting to isolate them in places without TV sets and fast-food joints, just to see how that would feel.. All of this may also just be due to brain damage from excessive barbecuing on the all-prevasive Weber Grill, at least in DK.. Enjoy your words, keep them running.. a compliment for your collection. Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Sun 09 Oct 2005 12:47 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
To Oleg:
"which would imply a lot of self-pity but no capacity to act outside of the need to be recognized and rewarded for every little pityful act that we might commit..." I already know these people, I call them "crisis junkies". Other people are only necessary to them in that they must relate their current crisis to them for the requisite attention and a pat on the back for their abilities to cope with what is obviously a world that does not recognize them as the important people they are. A society can survive all of these individuals within it, those that cannot connect or lack empathy, those that serve only themselves. What society cannot survive is adopting these attitudes as the "norm". I am only half Danish so I generally can move amongst others with only occasional genetic memories of pillaging and gargling with the blood of my enemies. But I tend to think Vikings have a stubborn streak, and this plays out a lot in my everyday interactions. Thanks for stopping by to muse on the condition of human kind. If you ever have it all figured out, be sure to email me. I don't think I understand people at all sometimes. And if blogging isn't a cry for 10 minutes of fame and recognition, I don't know what is. Re: The occasional rant...
by
Anonymous
on Sun 09 Oct 2005 06:34 PM EDT | Permanent Link
Well I took a day to comment on this, because yesterday my comment would have been unpublishable.
first let me say, I hope your friend is faring better today and hope that she will get the best care possible. From a person that has been suggested (anonymously) that I take anger management courses, I agree the lack of public values and decency in this world is emptying down the drain. Sometimes I think its because people have bad parents or just need someone to teach them values. Then I think of the Roman Gladitorial events and the way people love to watch murder trials (and gasp Cop shows) Where we see people knocked down. and then I realize we are all just really scum when it comes down to it at times. Common decency doesn't seem to common anymore the more I look for it. I understand that people are angry and frustrated and need to vent, thats ok, I have a punching bag for that downstairs. I have learned that hurting people around me only hurts me more, kind of like using a punching bag without my gloves. I don't believe in karma and other high sounding ideals, but I do believe that you recieve in according to what you give when you act out of anger. I may rant and I may spew venom from my blog and my site, but I never really would ever direct such a thing seriously. I still open doors for people, I still say thank you, I still treat everyone I see on the street the way I would want to be treated. Anyone that takes what I say in a rant seriously when I exagerate should get their psychiatric evaluation. I rant when I write because it helps me get rid of the frustration, not because I want others to act on it. So that is how I feel about anger... However what these two...individuals did was not done in the spirit of anger, but was done coldly and maliciously. To knock someone down and injure them and then make a cold and flip remark while walking away. Well I am still having a problem commenting to the detail I would want here. I am sure after reading this a rather large posse of vigilantes are looking for those two, and I would like to sign up. Thats all I have to say about that. Janus Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Sun 09 Oct 2005 10:05 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Actually pretty much the whole building is appalled and on the lookout for these guys. If they show up again, they won't get far...
Re: The occasional rant...
by
garnet
on Sun 09 Oct 2005 09:20 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Since god is considered dead by most of modern society, (except when they're in chuch, of course) the accepted sense of personal conscience fed by a watching god ceases to exist.
So, knowing nobody would do anything about how they acted, those guys didn't give a darn about someone they would probably never see again. It's like an adult version of the idea "out of sight out of mind" If you didn't get caught, you didn't do it. Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Sun 09 Oct 2005 10:09 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
"It's like an adult version of the idea "out of sight out of mind" If you didn't get caught, you didn't do it."
Sad when it is adults playing these games, isn't it? I know proclaimed atheists who have more morality than these guys showed, this is a question of behaving like a caring human being. I don't know what little switch gets turned off the hearts and minds of people like this. Don't know... Re: The occasional rant...
by
SilverMoon
on Tue 11 Oct 2005 10:20 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I'm too wound up to complete reading of the comments that ensue from your rant that I wholeheartedly support. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Even if I hadn't volunteered and later chose careers to work with physically challenged people, this type of behavior, so much more than apathy, would gnaw at me. I won't overrun your blog with a dissertation. Simply: a warranted post which I so dearly wish was NOT necessary. Actually, I hope you never stop FEELING anger about such events. I don't know that confronting those unmentionable excuses for human beings would accomplish anything because of their mindsets; however, I so understand wanting to DO something proactive. I feel so for your friend.
Re: Re: The occasional rant...
by
Ned
on Wed 12 Oct 2005 06:04 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I suppose it's true that no matter what was said to them, they won't change. This is how they are and it is sad, and it is maddening but it's the way it is.
Still, I wouldn't mind explaining it to them in MY way. Sometimes you have to explain, if you know what I mean. |
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