nedful things

I was missing from this blog for about a year.  The reasons are many and diverse, but mostly the business of life took precedence over quiet reflection.  My creativity had to find other outlets, some of which also had their profitable side and let's face it, money wins out over art any day.  Especially when your art is poetry - poetry is hardly a money-maker.

Meanwhile, I have started up some other blogs.  Many of the stories that here I would have categorized as "Nedful Things" are over at my new blog Why Keep Dogs and Bark Myself?.  If you liked the family stories about the kids and my mother with her quirky sayings, this may be one you want to check out.

I hope to get back to writing poetry on a regular basis, maybe even some short stories.  I know that it's good for me to exercise my writing in these areas.  So, if you haven't taken me off your list yet, check in from time to time and maybe I will surprise you by having actually updated.

Everyone has potential.  Every great dictator was once just a poor slob like you.  But he had potential, and when ultimate power was his, he knew how to use it.  What kind of dictator would you make?   Take the quiz and find out.

** Note: this quiz only measures possible potential. No guarantees of absolute power are given or implied.  This quiz relates to everyday circumstances and your reactions which could point to your ability to carry off a successful dictatorship. **

1.  You are in the "express" line at the supermarket that has a limit of 10 items.  You know you have 15 items in your cart.  A woman behind you has only one item, she is standing with one hand on her lower back, shifting position in obvious discomfort and you cannot help noticing she is
very pregnant.  At this point you:

A. You wouldn't be in this line in the first place, you have too many items and it would be wrong.

B. Quickly change places with her, allowing her to go ahead of you.

C. Consider offering her your space in line, but change your mind when you see she is going to write a check.

D. Ignore her completely, you were here first. They wanted equal rights, let her wait.  

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2.  The neighbor's dog regularly visits your yard and leaves some little trophies behind that you often end up stepping in.  Do you:

A.  Call the neighbor and try to work this little problem out like reasonable adults? Who knows you could end up best friends.

B.  Finally put up that fence your wife always wanted?

C. Call the local animal control officer to enforce the leash law?
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D.  Dig a pit and cover it with camouflage, leaving a little trail of doggie snacks leading up to it?

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3.  You come upon a group gathered outside the local grocery store who are taking up a petition to address some perceived social ill in your community that has no real effect on you personally.  What do you do?

A.  Sign the petition, you hate injustice of any kind.

B.  Read the petition carefully and make a decision based on the facts.

C.  Demand to see their permit for a public assembly and report them to the police if they can't produce it.

D.  Physically assault the first signature-gatherer with his own clipboard.  You don't appreciate people bothering you with their personal whines when you are trying to get Slim Jims on sale.

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4.  You have a job as a delivery truck driver for UPS.  As such you are timed on every run and every delivery.  The last package took two minutes too long and you are racing to make up time.  
As you approach a busy intersection you see an elderly woman trying to cross the street, she steps gingerly off the curb as you round the corner.  You then:

A.  Stop the truck and block the traffic so she can cross safely.

B.  Slow the truck in case she walks out into the street, you don't want to strike her.

C.  Honk and try to avoid hitting her but realize that if she doesn't use the crosswalk then it isn't your fault if she gets hurt.

D.  Gun the engine so that she knows you aren't about to stop.  You make an obscene gesture at her as she shakes a finger at you and laugh when the draft from your swift-moving truck knocks her down. That'll teach her.

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5. You inherit a monthly check for $100.00 but are supposed to split it equally with your sister.  She doesn't know this has happened.  Do you:

A. Give her the whole check and say you can't be bothered with it? (After all, her husband left her with three kids and you can't stand the thought of those poor little hungry kids and your only sister always worrying about trying to feed them).

B.   Split the check as directed? (Aunt Mamie might come back from the dead to haunt you if you don't)

C.   Mention it to your sister but maneuver her into agreeing that you keep it?  (You can tell her that it will only reduce her welfare check if they know she has steady income, it's a little bit true).

D.  Just pocket the money and say nothing because it would be ridiculous to split such a small check every month? (After all, it isn't your fault her no-good husband ran off on her and left her with three kids to feed all by herself.  Even if she is disabled, she ought to work like everyone else.)

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6.  An error you made caused the company to lose a large account.   You managed to cover up your tracks and the boss doesn't know you did it.  A promotion is coming up and you are in competition with Harry for the job.  Harry is more qualified than you and twice has saved your butt when you made other errors.  In the interview you realize that your boss suspects Harry was responsible for the error that cost them the large account.  You would:

A.  Confess everything and hope you don't get sacked.

B.  Tell the boss that you are sure Harry didn't cause the loss of that account but still go after the job by talking up your own strong points and let the boss decide fairly.

C.  Realize you are not as qualified as Harry but say nothing to clear his name, why mess up your own chances?

D.  Chuckle to yourself about your clean get-away and secretly plant ideas in the boss's head regarding Harry's lack of talent for his job, indicating he may have made many such errors you were able to correct.  After all, you don't want this kind of competition in the future.

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Scoring

No calculate your score by adding the points assigned to your answers.  Add up all the points and then see which style of dictatorship suits you best.

A = 0 points
B = 1 point
C = 3 points
D = 5 points

Who is Your Inner Totalitarian?

0-5 points:  You aren't cut out to be a totalitarian, you don't have the ego to promote your own opinion as law and you are too squeamish to torture innocent people who disagree
with you. You are concerned with issues of equality and justice and basic human rights. You are destined to become a political prisoner.

6-15 points:  You  are the Shah Reza Pahlavi.  You want to civilize your country for its own good and make valuable allies but you still feel safest with your secret police to seek out dissidents and imprison them. Because of your inconsistency, you will eventually be overthrown by a zealot who has a stronger personality than you do. You might want to consider something that offers power without the risk of a political coup deposing you. Perhaps apply for a job with the IRS.

16-25 points:  You are Idi Amin.  You have all the self-centered pride and arrogance to make a perfect despot but you lack the ability to frighten similar people into working for you.  Your political enemies will escape the country and eventually return to lead an uprising against you.  You will have to flee the country taking only your Swiss bank account numbers with you and will live out your days in some tinpot little country whose dictator has taken a big enough bribe to offer you sanctuary.  The likelihood is that you will be assassinated long after the world has forgotten who you are.


26-30 points: Congratulations! You have what it takes.  You are Josef Stalin.  You will be legendary.  You have the ability to judge every situation based solely on your own interests and comfort.  The rights and feelings of others mean nothing to you. You will crush anyone who gets in your way, you believe torture is an effective tool to control the masses.  Your country is destined to be littered with the mass graves of your imagined enemies. You are a born dictator.  It is your destiny, start stepping over people today and don't worry about your conscience (I know, I know, silly me, you don't have a conscience).